Spider-Man 2, Spider-Man 2
Does whatever a spider can do
Watch him wheeze many sighs
Catches fleas, catches flies
Look out!
Here comes the Spider-Man
2
SPIDER-MAN 2 is all about how we are who we choose to be. Peter Parker can decide to be New York City's greatest and most important hero, even if he is a socially maladjusted dweeb who cannot hold a job as a pizza delivery guy, or pass his college science courses. John Jameson can decide to marry Mary-Jane Watson, even if he is obviously gay. Mary-Jane can decide to be a star on Broadway, even if she is a terrible actress who was not even convincing as herself in the first SPIDER-MAN movie.
And yet, there are social and economic pressures that bear on all of us, especially Aunt May, who is old and poor, which is a real double-whammy. Taking the whole social framework into consideration, the idea of "free will" is a pretty tricky one. Harry Osborn gets bossed around by his dad, Norman, who is not only a forceful disciplinarian, but also a psychotic supervillain who taunts him from beyond the grave. Can Harry go from deifying his dad to defying him, just like that? No, his situation doesn't really seem very free-willy at all.
Harry is the presumptive villain of SPIDER-MAN 3, but will face at least some challenge from the Lizard, as soon as he can grow another arm. Doctor Octopus became a villain while acquiring arms, too! The SPIDER-MAN movies run the risk of alienating right-wing moviegoers with all this thinly-veiled moralizing about gun control.
Parents should be warned that impressionable kids might want to emulate Spidey after seeing this movie. It's dangerous -- they could get hurt while trying to jump from building to building, or miss an appointment while waiting for the film's fictitious elevated west side subway line. Parents are also cautioned not to sit there like paralytics while their babies shriek unceasingly through the first half of the movie, and then take out their cell phones and gab through the last twenty minutes, the fucking assholes.
Spider-Man co-creator and cagey shyster Stan Lee reprises his role from the first SPIDER-MAN film as "Man Dodging Debris."
SPIDER-MAN 2
Rated PG-13 for violence and weird body fluids
Five stars